HARK! (Photo credit: MEL810)
Once strangers we were
Soon no strangeness remained
At times, at a distance you were, then so near
And now, aches my heart, oh look! It is maimed.
Blame must I my eye, it sees things changing
Yet a little closer to you I wish to be
Should we, once again, in the rain go dancing?
But oh! Now you care little for me.
Hark, like you, I shall try to move on!
What are you to me anyway, when to you I’m none?
But the residue of my true feelings can never diminish
However, regret I shall not, no… not a thing!
Or be immobile with grief, or loss my sense of being a being
In your thoughts’ sake, I shall but write my verses with great relish.
Copyright © 2013 RAMU DAS
#1 by Arindam Saha on February 8, 2013 - 1:29 pm
I like the frequent rearrangement of words…
#2 by RAMU DAS on February 8, 2013 - 1:31 pm
You mean the rhyming scheme?
#3 by Arindam Saha on February 8, 2013 - 1:37 pm
no, I mean rearrangements like
“Blame must I my eye”
“regret I shall not, no… not a thing!”
“Should we, once again, in the rain go dancing?”
In ‘normal’ english they would be
“I must blame my eye”
“I shall not regret”
“Should we once again, go dancing in the rain”
etc.
I hope you understood the point
#4 by RAMU DAS on February 8, 2013 - 2:48 pm
Yes, sir, I get you there. I make things look a little different. Normal English is, as a matter of fact, normal. For a writer being ‘normal’ is quite an abnormal idea.
#5 by Eric Alagan on February 10, 2013 - 2:27 pm
That say it takes two to love. But what is to stop one from showering love on another who does not care? Ask any parent whose children disown them —-
#6 by RAMU DAS on February 11, 2013 - 10:39 am
Of course, it takes two. But when one loves someone and that someone does not love in return, it becomes one-sided love. I loathe the children who forsake their parents. I wonder how cruel a person is, who leaves his/her parents in old age.
#7 by Adriana talks to you on February 10, 2013 - 6:31 pm
Packed with feelings, amazing!
#8 by RAMU DAS on February 11, 2013 - 10:40 am
Thanks, Adriana.
#9 by Shakti Ghosal on February 14, 2013 - 2:44 am
Maim…. Blame… Change… wistfulness…..These are the aspects that jump out at me from your verse, Ramu.
As you think of these aspects, what do you see at the core of your thoughts?
Excellent word imagery.
Shakti
#10 by RAMU DAS on February 14, 2013 - 8:55 am
Thank you, sir.
Different thoughts can be drawn from this. It’s the emotional touch that matters. Those aspects that you mentioned were partially the feelings that I was trying to put down in words.
#11 by Sameen on February 16, 2013 - 8:10 am
awesome, the rhyming scheme is a bit different… nice i liked it
and the poem reminds me of my past.